Whenever I start to feel too big for my boots, I visit the ocean. It never fails to bring me both humility and peace. And so I just had lunch with the sea. I am on campus doing work today, so couldn’t actually go to the beach, but sat on a bench on campus that overlooks the harbor and ate my sandwich, letting myself feel belittled again. With that big, beautiful ocean out there, that has been there long before I entered the world and will remain long after I depart, how can any problem I have ever seem unmanageable? Not that I really have any pressing problems, just millions of questions swimming around in my head (I’m a worrier by nature).
Lately what has been pestering me is the idea of having two vastly different realities in my life, and somehow figuring out how they fit together. How can someone feel so at home both in Rochester, NY, and in Durban, South Africa? How can I feel just as comfortable being an American in my own country and being a foreigner in another? How can I feel just as comfortable being squeezed in a mini bus taxi with a bunch of South Africans, listening to house music, riding through Durban’s bustling and beautifully vibrant center city, as I do driving my own car through the streets of my quiet suburb in upstate New York? And how on earth will I ever find the compromise that will allow both of these realities to exist in my life simultaneously, feeding both my need for adventure and newness, and my love for home and familiarity? And so here I sit, too big for my boots, thinking that these questions a) are really important in the grand scheme of things, and b) that I can answer them today, right now, definitively. Silly me.
As many of you know, I just spent two weeks back at home for Thanksgiving. Having been away from home for ten months, it was wonderful to see my family and friends again. I have completed the coursework portion of my masters, and now just need to do the dissertation part (I like how I said “just,” as though it’s an easy task… ha!). So it looks like I will be sticking around South Africa for another few months. Thus, a visit home was in order. I spent the first week visiting my sister in Delaware and visiting my relatives in New Jersey for Thanksgiving. I then spent the second week at home in Rochester, splitting my time between sleeping in late, eating all of the food that I’ve missed, visiting friends, and spending time with my family.
Although I have taken several vacations while I’ve been in South Africa and haven’t been necessarily studying hard the entire time, I have been constantly challenged and constantly learning. So being home was not only an opportunity to reconnect with people, but also an opportunity to turn my brain off and stop thinking about poverty and AIDS and the state of the world for a couple of weeks. It’s as though every day and every interaction I have in South Africa is a cultural and learning experience, constantly challenging me and pushing me to the limits of my comfort zone. Being at home was a much needed break, to say the least.
Because I was home for such a short time, I really didn’t have to deal with culture shock or evaluating my time here or where I stand in my life now. As I said, I just turned my brain off for a little bit (is that even possible?). I did make a couple of interesting observations, though. I was very overwhelmed by two things: 1) the speed of life in the US and 2) the variety and huge quantity of choices in the US. As for the speed of life, my sister Abby often reminded me, “your not on African time anymore, Jaime!” because apparently I had trouble hurrying and being on time. As they say here, “there’s no hurry in Africa.” If I did in fact adopt this slower pace as part of my own routine, than I am quite pleased with myself. Having experienced life both here and there, I can say with some certainty that perhaps the saying should go, “there’s no hurry in life.” Let’s be honest, where does hurrying get us besides ulcers and high blood pressure? We all get to the same destination in the end.
And as for variety, eish, walking down an aisle in a grocery store was incredibly overwhelming. Are there really that many varieties of cereal, that many colors of Gatorade, that many flavors of dog food?! I went clothes shopping one day and ended up not buying anything because I just couldn’t make any decisions, it was all too much. I ended up deciding that if I could live off of the same ten shirts for the past ten months, I certainly can make it for the next few months without adding anything to my wardrobe. Not to say that there isn’t variety in South Africa or that there isn’t any consumerism here, but America puts the rest to shame.
And so, after a fulfilling but all too brief visit home, I hopped back on the plane and after a 30+ hour journey and a fiasco involving a lost ATM card and no place to stay overnight in Johannesburg, I ended up back in my beloved Durban. And the strange thing is, I felt like I was in a sense coming home. It felt nice to be back in my apartment, back in my routine here. But it also felt equally nice being in my house back home, in my routine there. And the strangest part is how surreal it feels. It’s as though I cannot picture the other life existing when I’m not in it, and yet when I return to one or the other, it’s as though I never left. Perhaps I need to stop thinking about this and go sit by the sea again.
A little update on life in Durban… Summer is getting back into full swing. The only way I can describe the heat here is to compare it to sitting too close to a campfire, only you can’t step away. There’s no escaping the Durban sun, and there is certainly no escaping the Durban humidity. I’m already dreading the unbearable heat of January-March. At least I’ll get some good beach days out of it. No new progress with the dissertation, but I have full confidence (most of the time) that it will all work out just fine. I’m going to be spending next week in Mozambique, lying on the beach and exploring new places and a new culture. And then my first Zulu Christmas! It should be an adventure, which I will certainly fill you all in on. If I don’t speak with you before the holiday season, have a lovely time and play in the snow for me, because it certainly will not be a white Christmas here!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
A few life lessons along the way.
I usually only write blog updates when I’m in a particularly happy/inspired mood. But I decided that this is not the most accurate picture of my South African adventure. So instead I am writing today on a rainy day when I am in a frustrated/overwhelmed mood. Today I found out that my research proposal was turned down at the hospital at which I had planned to interview nurses. I’m looking at the impact of the nursing shortage on HIV/AIDS care for my masters’ thesis. Now getting turned down at the hospital may not seem like a big deal, but after spending 5 months on literature research and 3 months getting research approval from both the university and the Department of Health, it’s a VERY frustrating roadblock, as I now have to either reapply to the Department of Health to do the research at another hospital, or find some inventive way of contacting nurses by going around the hospital administration (an ethically questionable endeavor). It’s made all the more frustrating by the fact that their reason for turning down the proposal was not the content of the proposal, but rather that they just have too much research going on at the hospital and don’t have time for any more. Now I wanted to scream at them “YOU don’t have time?! YOU will not be doing the research! I’M the one who doesn’t have time! And now YOU’VE wasted MY time!” But instead I smiled politely and thanked them for their time.
While this is a decidedly bad-mood post, I know better than to dwell on the negative. After finding out about this latest roadblock in my research, my first instinct was to call it quits and declare that this is just too hard. I even looked longingly at the lonely suitcase waiting patiently in my closet and pictured myself throwing all of my belongings in it, buying an airplane ticket to Rochester, and waving goodbye to Durban. After all, I could be home in less than 24 hours if I so desired… But I’m a Gentile and Gentile’s don’t quit. Well, sometimes Gentiles quit musical instruments or hobbies, but they don’t quit serious things like this. So instead I took a bubble bath, drank a cup of tea, and decided to look at the bright side. Because it really isn’t all that bad. And therefore I am turning my lemons into lemonade and making a list of the nine lessons that I’ve learned in the past nine months. No, things are not always easy and they are not always perfect, but it is through the challenges that we become stronger and through the challenges that we learn the most worthwhile lessons.
1. Living simply is not easy.
Yesterday I opened my closet and let out a loud, annoyed sigh because I do NOT want to wear any of the ten shirts that I have been wearing over and over again for the last nine months. And some mornings I don’t want to walk the 30 minutes (uphill, mind you) to school. Can’t I just call a cab instead?! Sometimes I think wistfully of my lonely car sitting in the garage back home and of my unlimited access to internet and to a washer and a dryer. And a dishwasher and a microwave! Oh the luxuries. While I certainly am not living in poverty here, there are certain luxuries which I have learned to live without. But sometimes this spoilt American girl gets a little sick of it. I admit it, living simply (in material terms at least) may not be my thing after all.
2. I’m stupid.
I have learned since I’ve been here that it’s often more important to shut up and listen than it is to talk. In my classes I am surrounded by students who have worked for the government of Lesotho or the finance minister of Malawi. People who were raised in rural villages without electricity, where their fathers had not one, but multiple wives. People who have lived in several countries. People who have 2 or 3 other masters degrees already. While yes, I have my own contributions and talents to share, it is important to remember how much I can learn and that everyone else knows more than I do.
3. The answer is always yes (well, within reason).
No matter how tired I am or how much work I have to do, I try to take every opportunity for adventure or new experience that I can. How does that quote go? Something along the lines of “You will not regret the things you have done, but rather the things you have failed to do.” Yea, something like that. For instance, I may have had to stay up late writing a paper the other night because I spent the weekend with my homestay family in the township, but I would say it was worth the loss of sleep.
4. 23 is very young.
I sometimes get overwhelmed because I’m 23 and still don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life. Or for that matter, exactly what I want to do next year. But I have learned that I am still very young and have endless possibilities ahead of me. And this means that it is completely and absolutely okay if I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s the twists, turns, roadblocks, and bumps that make the journey so exciting.
5. I’m very lucky.
This is connected to the previous point in that not many people have been as lucky as I have been in being able to see and do so much at such a young age. Even when I get frustrated and overwhelmed with my life here, I always remember what an incredible blessing it is to be here and to have these experiences.
6. I still don’t know what development is.
Now you’d think that working towards my masters’ degree in development studies for the past 9 months, I would have figured this out by now, but I haven’t. I’ve decided that there is no definition, so I work on the idea that the goal of “development” is to improve the well-being of people, working toward justice and equality. Where I fit into that, I have no idea. But as I said, I’m still young. I have time to figure it out.
7. Laugh. A lot.
There are situations here that just make no sense and all I can do is laugh and appreciate the moment for what it’s worth. Whether it be in a bar, on a bus, or in a church, I’m often the only white person and I often stick out like a sore thumb. I don’t understand all of the customs and nuances here, and will therefore continue to mess up. For example, the other day in the township, I said that I had a headache and someone offered me toothpaste. When I asked how that would help me, she explained, in entire earnestness, that putting toothpaste up your bum-hole cures all ailments. I replied that I’d rather have the headache. And so I’ve learned to take it all with a grain of salt, and laugh along.
8. There’s no hurry in South Africa (I have yet to be convinced that there is hurry anywhere in Africa for that matter)
For a very structured person who likes to plan ahead, this has been a difficult lesson to learn. But as shown by the research approval stuff, sometimes there isn’t a whole lot I can do to hurry things up. And so I will continue to wait for an hour at a bus stop. I will continue to wait in long lines at the bank. I will continue to listen to the parking guard tell me his whole life story every time I pass by him on the street. While I may be in a hurry, no one else is. So I might as well walk a little slower and listen to the parking guard’s story. Stop and smell the roses, right?
9. There’s no place like home.
When all is said and done, no one will ever replace the people from home. When I’m in a crappy mood, the best thing for me to do is to call my mom because in the end, she’s the only one who can help me make sense of life (in fact, I’m going to go call her as soon as I finish writing this). No matter how beautiful the places you visit are or how wonderful new friends are, they are not, nor will the ever be, the ones who unconditionally loved you and cared for you first.
So there you have it. A sweet glass of lemonade squeezed from some sour lemons. As my friend Amy told me in an email after she returned from a year in China, “As long as you have confidence, flexibility, and a smile, everything will work out in the end.” And so my suitcase will remain in my closet for a little bit longer.
While this is a decidedly bad-mood post, I know better than to dwell on the negative. After finding out about this latest roadblock in my research, my first instinct was to call it quits and declare that this is just too hard. I even looked longingly at the lonely suitcase waiting patiently in my closet and pictured myself throwing all of my belongings in it, buying an airplane ticket to Rochester, and waving goodbye to Durban. After all, I could be home in less than 24 hours if I so desired… But I’m a Gentile and Gentile’s don’t quit. Well, sometimes Gentiles quit musical instruments or hobbies, but they don’t quit serious things like this. So instead I took a bubble bath, drank a cup of tea, and decided to look at the bright side. Because it really isn’t all that bad. And therefore I am turning my lemons into lemonade and making a list of the nine lessons that I’ve learned in the past nine months. No, things are not always easy and they are not always perfect, but it is through the challenges that we become stronger and through the challenges that we learn the most worthwhile lessons.
1. Living simply is not easy.
Yesterday I opened my closet and let out a loud, annoyed sigh because I do NOT want to wear any of the ten shirts that I have been wearing over and over again for the last nine months. And some mornings I don’t want to walk the 30 minutes (uphill, mind you) to school. Can’t I just call a cab instead?! Sometimes I think wistfully of my lonely car sitting in the garage back home and of my unlimited access to internet and to a washer and a dryer. And a dishwasher and a microwave! Oh the luxuries. While I certainly am not living in poverty here, there are certain luxuries which I have learned to live without. But sometimes this spoilt American girl gets a little sick of it. I admit it, living simply (in material terms at least) may not be my thing after all.
2. I’m stupid.
I have learned since I’ve been here that it’s often more important to shut up and listen than it is to talk. In my classes I am surrounded by students who have worked for the government of Lesotho or the finance minister of Malawi. People who were raised in rural villages without electricity, where their fathers had not one, but multiple wives. People who have lived in several countries. People who have 2 or 3 other masters degrees already. While yes, I have my own contributions and talents to share, it is important to remember how much I can learn and that everyone else knows more than I do.
3. The answer is always yes (well, within reason).
No matter how tired I am or how much work I have to do, I try to take every opportunity for adventure or new experience that I can. How does that quote go? Something along the lines of “You will not regret the things you have done, but rather the things you have failed to do.” Yea, something like that. For instance, I may have had to stay up late writing a paper the other night because I spent the weekend with my homestay family in the township, but I would say it was worth the loss of sleep.
4. 23 is very young.
I sometimes get overwhelmed because I’m 23 and still don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life. Or for that matter, exactly what I want to do next year. But I have learned that I am still very young and have endless possibilities ahead of me. And this means that it is completely and absolutely okay if I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s the twists, turns, roadblocks, and bumps that make the journey so exciting.
5. I’m very lucky.
This is connected to the previous point in that not many people have been as lucky as I have been in being able to see and do so much at such a young age. Even when I get frustrated and overwhelmed with my life here, I always remember what an incredible blessing it is to be here and to have these experiences.
6. I still don’t know what development is.
Now you’d think that working towards my masters’ degree in development studies for the past 9 months, I would have figured this out by now, but I haven’t. I’ve decided that there is no definition, so I work on the idea that the goal of “development” is to improve the well-being of people, working toward justice and equality. Where I fit into that, I have no idea. But as I said, I’m still young. I have time to figure it out.
7. Laugh. A lot.
There are situations here that just make no sense and all I can do is laugh and appreciate the moment for what it’s worth. Whether it be in a bar, on a bus, or in a church, I’m often the only white person and I often stick out like a sore thumb. I don’t understand all of the customs and nuances here, and will therefore continue to mess up. For example, the other day in the township, I said that I had a headache and someone offered me toothpaste. When I asked how that would help me, she explained, in entire earnestness, that putting toothpaste up your bum-hole cures all ailments. I replied that I’d rather have the headache. And so I’ve learned to take it all with a grain of salt, and laugh along.
8. There’s no hurry in South Africa (I have yet to be convinced that there is hurry anywhere in Africa for that matter)
For a very structured person who likes to plan ahead, this has been a difficult lesson to learn. But as shown by the research approval stuff, sometimes there isn’t a whole lot I can do to hurry things up. And so I will continue to wait for an hour at a bus stop. I will continue to wait in long lines at the bank. I will continue to listen to the parking guard tell me his whole life story every time I pass by him on the street. While I may be in a hurry, no one else is. So I might as well walk a little slower and listen to the parking guard’s story. Stop and smell the roses, right?
9. There’s no place like home.
When all is said and done, no one will ever replace the people from home. When I’m in a crappy mood, the best thing for me to do is to call my mom because in the end, she’s the only one who can help me make sense of life (in fact, I’m going to go call her as soon as I finish writing this). No matter how beautiful the places you visit are or how wonderful new friends are, they are not, nor will the ever be, the ones who unconditionally loved you and cared for you first.
So there you have it. A sweet glass of lemonade squeezed from some sour lemons. As my friend Amy told me in an email after she returned from a year in China, “As long as you have confidence, flexibility, and a smile, everything will work out in the end.” And so my suitcase will remain in my closet for a little bit longer.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Earn This...
I went to church today with my roommate, Angel. Going to church here is always an experience, especially when you are the only white person there and are accustomed to the one hour, ritual-dependent Catholic services. Angel’s church consists of 3 hours of singing and dancing; the best singing and dancing I’ve ever experienced. Although I often have trouble agreeing with the sermon (i.e. A few weeks ago the pastor preached about how real men are not meant to do “women’s” work, such as cooking and caring for children. Real Men are meant for something better. I have many issues with this message, but won’t get into it now), I am always humbled and inspired by the joy, celebration, and strong sense of community. In addition, I am always very warmly welcomed and have even been told that when we reach the gates of Heaven, people of all nations and all races will be together as they should be, so it is good that I join in their celebrations and that people of different races mix as they should here on earth.
But my reason for talking about church is not to tell you about what happened in church, but rather what happened after church. As Angel and I were waiting for our bus, a Jehovah’s Witness approached us and asked “why do you think the world is so wicked?” I replied that perhaps it is just her perspective that the world is wicked. One could also say that the world is filled with love and the overcoming of obstacles, just as easily as one could say that it is filled with hate and misery. For example, when I visit my home stay family in the township, I never see misery or unhappiness there, but rather always feel surrounded by love and joy, regardless of how little money the families in the community have or how many hardships they have faced in their lives. Well my Jehovah’s Witness friend disagreed, using the example of the problems of rape and disease in SA as evidence of the overwhelming evil. She then told us that Satan has control of the world because we are all sinners, or something along those lines. After giving us this uplifting message and some literature, she walked over to her BMW and drove away, most likely directly past all of the slums filled with “rape and disease,” and to her posh white suburb.
Ok, stick with me on this one because I’m going to tie all of this rambling together at the end but here’s another little story first. A couple of weeks ago my friend Briana who is working with the Peace Corps in Namibia visited me here in Durban with a few of her fellow volunteers. We spent a very fun week together, visiting all of the Durban highlights and spending a couple of days on the Wild Coast (my favorite place in SA, about 2 hours south of Durban). While on the Wild Coast, a couple of us rode horses on the beach, a personal dream of mine. Granted they made us wear helmets and the guides insisted on keeping our horses on leashes, so it wasn’t the picture I had of my hair blowing in the wind as my horse gallops down the beach, but it was still a great experience. But somewhere along our walk, I saw a woman standing in the shallow water collecting something, perhaps some sort of shellfish. I was struck by this clash of cultures and of realities. Whereas for me the beach is a place of relaxation and fun, for others it is a source of livelihood and a place of work. Whereas I had just paid about $12 to ride a horse for 40 minutes, this woman was probably struggling to feed her family and would gladly have put that money to use in the form of school fees or clothing for her kids. But hey, I have a right to use my money however I see fit, right? I have a right to be sitting up on this horse while she digs through the muck for her dinner, right?
Whenever I go out to a bar on the weekends, I walk by beggars on the street, asking for money to feed their children. As a rule, I don’t believe in giving money to beggars because I reason that even if I gave away all of the money I have, it wouldn’t even scratch the surface of the problems of poverty and homelessness. And after all, they’ll probably just use it on alcohol anyway. So instead I walk by the beggars, and into the bar to buy some beer for myself. And as with the horse riding, I rationalize it, telling myself that I deserve the break or I deserve to have fun and take advantage of every opportunity while I’m in South Africa.
As I was writing this blog update, I listened to the song “Dear Mr. President” by Pink. It doesn’t paint a very good picture of the current US administration, but regardless of how you feel about the president, it has a powerful message for all of us. It goes a little like this: “What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street? Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep? What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud? How do you sleep while the rest of us cry? How do you dream while a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you walk with your head held high? Can you even look me in the eye?” While I think these are indeed very good questions to ask anyone in a position of political power, I think often we must also turn these questions on ourselves.
So here’s the point of all of these disjointed anecdotes: rather than seeing injustice and blaming the powers that be, perhaps it is time to turn the finger of blame around on myself. In the last eight months, I have realized just what it means to be an American, and a financially secure, middle-class, educated, white American on top of that. It is easy to blame God or the Devil for the evil and injustice that exist in our world, and then return to my own personal security and comfort. It is easy to ride a horse by a woman digging in the muck, assuring myself that I deserved this little vacation and that I’ve worked hard for the opportunity to be here and the money that got me here. It is easy to blame the president for failed policies that cause havoc both domestically and internationally, to ask him how he can sleep soundly at night, but to not question the impacts of my own actions. But the thing is, the easy answers that comfort us are not always the right answers. As an American, all I have to do is flash my passport or my MasterCard and I can pretty much get whatever I want. As an American with an education, I can travel the world and see and do whatever I dream of. But with this comes a huge burden of responsibility.
I haven’t seen the movie Saving Private Ryan for some years, but I remember a scene at the end where a dying Tom Hanks tells Matt Damon to “earn this.” For those who haven’t seen the movie, I think something like 4 soldiers are killed in a mission to save one soldier, played by Matt Damon. And the soldier is told to earn the lives that were lost on his behalf, to somehow make his life worthy of their sacrifices. There are great injustices in this world, and I’m not saying that I or any other privileged person is directly to blame for the suffering and misfortune of others. But I am saying that perhaps it is time to turn the finger of blame on ourselves and ask not who is responsible, but rather what am I doing to make it better, to create a more just and loving world. In all statistical probability, one is more likely to be born an impoverished African than a privileged American, and for some reason I was born a privileged American who has been blessed with a loving family, a good education, and a wealth of opportunity. I’m sure that many of you who are reading this blog were also born into similar situations, for which we should be grateful. But sometimes gratitude isn’t enough. We must earn this.
But my reason for talking about church is not to tell you about what happened in church, but rather what happened after church. As Angel and I were waiting for our bus, a Jehovah’s Witness approached us and asked “why do you think the world is so wicked?” I replied that perhaps it is just her perspective that the world is wicked. One could also say that the world is filled with love and the overcoming of obstacles, just as easily as one could say that it is filled with hate and misery. For example, when I visit my home stay family in the township, I never see misery or unhappiness there, but rather always feel surrounded by love and joy, regardless of how little money the families in the community have or how many hardships they have faced in their lives. Well my Jehovah’s Witness friend disagreed, using the example of the problems of rape and disease in SA as evidence of the overwhelming evil. She then told us that Satan has control of the world because we are all sinners, or something along those lines. After giving us this uplifting message and some literature, she walked over to her BMW and drove away, most likely directly past all of the slums filled with “rape and disease,” and to her posh white suburb.
Ok, stick with me on this one because I’m going to tie all of this rambling together at the end but here’s another little story first. A couple of weeks ago my friend Briana who is working with the Peace Corps in Namibia visited me here in Durban with a few of her fellow volunteers. We spent a very fun week together, visiting all of the Durban highlights and spending a couple of days on the Wild Coast (my favorite place in SA, about 2 hours south of Durban). While on the Wild Coast, a couple of us rode horses on the beach, a personal dream of mine. Granted they made us wear helmets and the guides insisted on keeping our horses on leashes, so it wasn’t the picture I had of my hair blowing in the wind as my horse gallops down the beach, but it was still a great experience. But somewhere along our walk, I saw a woman standing in the shallow water collecting something, perhaps some sort of shellfish. I was struck by this clash of cultures and of realities. Whereas for me the beach is a place of relaxation and fun, for others it is a source of livelihood and a place of work. Whereas I had just paid about $12 to ride a horse for 40 minutes, this woman was probably struggling to feed her family and would gladly have put that money to use in the form of school fees or clothing for her kids. But hey, I have a right to use my money however I see fit, right? I have a right to be sitting up on this horse while she digs through the muck for her dinner, right?
Whenever I go out to a bar on the weekends, I walk by beggars on the street, asking for money to feed their children. As a rule, I don’t believe in giving money to beggars because I reason that even if I gave away all of the money I have, it wouldn’t even scratch the surface of the problems of poverty and homelessness. And after all, they’ll probably just use it on alcohol anyway. So instead I walk by the beggars, and into the bar to buy some beer for myself. And as with the horse riding, I rationalize it, telling myself that I deserve the break or I deserve to have fun and take advantage of every opportunity while I’m in South Africa.
As I was writing this blog update, I listened to the song “Dear Mr. President” by Pink. It doesn’t paint a very good picture of the current US administration, but regardless of how you feel about the president, it has a powerful message for all of us. It goes a little like this: “What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street? Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep? What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Are you proud? How do you sleep while the rest of us cry? How do you dream while a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you walk with your head held high? Can you even look me in the eye?” While I think these are indeed very good questions to ask anyone in a position of political power, I think often we must also turn these questions on ourselves.
So here’s the point of all of these disjointed anecdotes: rather than seeing injustice and blaming the powers that be, perhaps it is time to turn the finger of blame around on myself. In the last eight months, I have realized just what it means to be an American, and a financially secure, middle-class, educated, white American on top of that. It is easy to blame God or the Devil for the evil and injustice that exist in our world, and then return to my own personal security and comfort. It is easy to ride a horse by a woman digging in the muck, assuring myself that I deserved this little vacation and that I’ve worked hard for the opportunity to be here and the money that got me here. It is easy to blame the president for failed policies that cause havoc both domestically and internationally, to ask him how he can sleep soundly at night, but to not question the impacts of my own actions. But the thing is, the easy answers that comfort us are not always the right answers. As an American, all I have to do is flash my passport or my MasterCard and I can pretty much get whatever I want. As an American with an education, I can travel the world and see and do whatever I dream of. But with this comes a huge burden of responsibility.
I haven’t seen the movie Saving Private Ryan for some years, but I remember a scene at the end where a dying Tom Hanks tells Matt Damon to “earn this.” For those who haven’t seen the movie, I think something like 4 soldiers are killed in a mission to save one soldier, played by Matt Damon. And the soldier is told to earn the lives that were lost on his behalf, to somehow make his life worthy of their sacrifices. There are great injustices in this world, and I’m not saying that I or any other privileged person is directly to blame for the suffering and misfortune of others. But I am saying that perhaps it is time to turn the finger of blame on ourselves and ask not who is responsible, but rather what am I doing to make it better, to create a more just and loving world. In all statistical probability, one is more likely to be born an impoverished African than a privileged American, and for some reason I was born a privileged American who has been blessed with a loving family, a good education, and a wealth of opportunity. I’m sure that many of you who are reading this blog were also born into similar situations, for which we should be grateful. But sometimes gratitude isn’t enough. We must earn this.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Corey's whirlwind tour of South Africa
As I write this, I am sitting in my apartment on a lovely August day (it’s spring here in Durban, which means beautiful sunny days without the unbearable humidity that will be arriving in a couple of months) pretending to do work. I say pretending because I have a pile of reading to do for my dissertation, but instead am taking a not-so-well-deserved break to write this. So as I was sitting here, I heard a bell ringing outside and looking outside realized that it was the South African version of the ice cream man who we so fondly refer to as Skippy back home. But South African Skippy has one distinct difference from American Skippy: he has no ice cream truck. It’s just a guy walking down the street carrying a cooler, ringing a bell. This is something that I found pretty funny the first time I saw him, but after almost 7 months here has become commonplace. I start this update with a very random story because my older sister, Corey, just spent the last 10 days with me here, and I finally got to share my life in South Africa with someone from home. While Corey didn’t get to meet South African Skippy, she did experience many of the other aspects of my life, which seem normal to me, but seen through new eyes are far more interesting and unique than I realize.
During Corey’s 10 days in South Africa, we tried to fit in as much as possible because I wanted to give her the fullest picture that I could of why this country is so great. We started with three days in Cape Town. While in Cape Town, Corey and I went to Table Mountain, visited Robben Island where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned, took a day trip to the Cape of Good Hope (most southwestern point in Africa), and did some shopping and other sight-seeing in the city. Cape Town is a great city; very beautiful and much more tourist-friendly than Durban with a great tourist trap harbor front with shops and restaurant. We had a fun few days in Cape Town, even though the backpackers that we stayed in was a little smelly and too crowded for Corey’s liking (we had to share a room with some crazy foreigners), and we didn’t realize that we needed to bring sleeping bags so we slept without sheets or blankets. But as I told Corey, here in Africa we’re roughing in. Actually that’s a complete lie; my life here is not rough at all, but I have learned to roll with the punches and expect anything (aka the Skippy without the truck).
After returning to Durban and spending one night here, Corey, my roommate Stephanie, and I headed up to a game park in Umfolozi a couple of hours north of Durban. I had shown Corey the very modern face of South Africa in Cape Town, so now it was time to show her the stereotypical African side of South Africa… the animals! At Umfolozi we stayed in a hut in the game park, which meant that we had some rather scary evening visitors. The first night I was heading to the bathroom, which is in a separate building from our hut, only to find the entrance blocked by a hyena. Now hyenas in real life are not as friendly and small as they may seem in The Lion King. They’re actually pretty big and scary, and we’ve been told they have jaws stronger than those of a lion. So I calmly turned and walked away, breaking into a run the last few meters, terrified that I would meet my end at the jaws of a hyena. We then watched from our window as the hyena scavenged around the camp and came right up to our hut and stared us down, only to walk away. It was pretty cool to be so close to a hyena, although a little disconcerting and we decided that evening trips to the bathroom were probably not the best idea. The next day as we were sitting in our hut reading, a monkey popped his head in the door, but seemed just as surprised to see us as we were to see him, and quickly left. I was glad that the wildlife of Umfolozi had decided to give Corey a good show, though.
We went on two game drives while at Umfolozi. The first, and best, one was during the day and it was just the three of us in our little rental car. During our 3 hour drive along the meandering dirt roads we saw 4 of the big 5 (the big 5 being lions, leopards, elephants, buffaloes, and rhinos… we didn’t see the leopards). We also saw giraffes, warthogs, zebras, baboons, multiple types of antelope, and other birds and animals that we couldn’t identify. Many of the animals were right on the road, which was a great experience. In fact we drove right through a herd of rhinos standing in the road and were a little afraid they may ram our car because they’re actually very dangerous animals, but we made it through alright. Last time I was here in 2005 I also visited Umfolozi, but I think this time I was more in awe of the animals we saw and perhaps was able to see more than last time. It’s such an amazing experience to be, although in the safety of a car, so close to such majestic animals. The other game ride we went on was organized by the park and was a night drive. It was a little cold and (obviously) dark, so we didn’t see as much, but we did get to see 4 lion cubs, which I thought made the whole thing worthwhile.
After a few days relaxing in Umfolozi, enjoying the animals and the beautiful scenery (picture rolling hills that go on as far as the eye can see without buildings or electricity lines obstructing the view), we headed back to Durban so I could show Corey MY South Africa. During our four days in Durban we visited the beach a couple of times, visited my family in the township where I lived in 2005, went shopping at a market, had a couple of nights out on the town, and visited my university. It was really wonderful to get to show Corey around South Africa and to see her reactions to things and get her perspective. For example, when we were in the shopping centre near my apartment, which is very modern and American-feeling, a woman walked by carrying a huge package on her head, as many black South African women do. Like Skippy-on-foot, this has become very commonplace to me and I am no longer as stunned by the amazing strength and balance these women possess. But seen through Corey’s eyes, I got to again realize how great the clash of cultures is here. It’s this amazing mix of the “developing world” and the “developed world” (I put them in quotes because I don’t agree with the idea of ranking countries in this way, but I won’t get into that now) and of European culture with African culture. I am always amazed that it only takes about an hour drive out of the bustling city of Durban to be in a rural village with no electricity or running water where English is often not spoken. South Africa really has an incredible juxtaposition of very different realities that somehow seem to be working together.
But I’m off track. The point is, it was really great to share all of this with my sister and to know that when I get back home there will be one person who at least somewhat understands my life in South Africa and what I have been so fortunate to experience here. When we were at the Cape of Good Hope we climbed to the top of this rock outcropping overlooking the ocean and Corey turned to me and said “I can’t believe I’m in Africa!” And I just smiled and nodded, happy that someone else understands the constant state of awe and wonder that I am in. Of course I am also constantly challenged and overwhelmed too, but mostly it is just pure, wonderful awe and I know I will not make sense of most of it for a long time. But for now, I’m glad that I could share it all with my sister and give her a glimpse of this incredible adventure.
During Corey’s 10 days in South Africa, we tried to fit in as much as possible because I wanted to give her the fullest picture that I could of why this country is so great. We started with three days in Cape Town. While in Cape Town, Corey and I went to Table Mountain, visited Robben Island where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned, took a day trip to the Cape of Good Hope (most southwestern point in Africa), and did some shopping and other sight-seeing in the city. Cape Town is a great city; very beautiful and much more tourist-friendly than Durban with a great tourist trap harbor front with shops and restaurant. We had a fun few days in Cape Town, even though the backpackers that we stayed in was a little smelly and too crowded for Corey’s liking (we had to share a room with some crazy foreigners), and we didn’t realize that we needed to bring sleeping bags so we slept without sheets or blankets. But as I told Corey, here in Africa we’re roughing in. Actually that’s a complete lie; my life here is not rough at all, but I have learned to roll with the punches and expect anything (aka the Skippy without the truck).
After returning to Durban and spending one night here, Corey, my roommate Stephanie, and I headed up to a game park in Umfolozi a couple of hours north of Durban. I had shown Corey the very modern face of South Africa in Cape Town, so now it was time to show her the stereotypical African side of South Africa… the animals! At Umfolozi we stayed in a hut in the game park, which meant that we had some rather scary evening visitors. The first night I was heading to the bathroom, which is in a separate building from our hut, only to find the entrance blocked by a hyena. Now hyenas in real life are not as friendly and small as they may seem in The Lion King. They’re actually pretty big and scary, and we’ve been told they have jaws stronger than those of a lion. So I calmly turned and walked away, breaking into a run the last few meters, terrified that I would meet my end at the jaws of a hyena. We then watched from our window as the hyena scavenged around the camp and came right up to our hut and stared us down, only to walk away. It was pretty cool to be so close to a hyena, although a little disconcerting and we decided that evening trips to the bathroom were probably not the best idea. The next day as we were sitting in our hut reading, a monkey popped his head in the door, but seemed just as surprised to see us as we were to see him, and quickly left. I was glad that the wildlife of Umfolozi had decided to give Corey a good show, though.
We went on two game drives while at Umfolozi. The first, and best, one was during the day and it was just the three of us in our little rental car. During our 3 hour drive along the meandering dirt roads we saw 4 of the big 5 (the big 5 being lions, leopards, elephants, buffaloes, and rhinos… we didn’t see the leopards). We also saw giraffes, warthogs, zebras, baboons, multiple types of antelope, and other birds and animals that we couldn’t identify. Many of the animals were right on the road, which was a great experience. In fact we drove right through a herd of rhinos standing in the road and were a little afraid they may ram our car because they’re actually very dangerous animals, but we made it through alright. Last time I was here in 2005 I also visited Umfolozi, but I think this time I was more in awe of the animals we saw and perhaps was able to see more than last time. It’s such an amazing experience to be, although in the safety of a car, so close to such majestic animals. The other game ride we went on was organized by the park and was a night drive. It was a little cold and (obviously) dark, so we didn’t see as much, but we did get to see 4 lion cubs, which I thought made the whole thing worthwhile.
After a few days relaxing in Umfolozi, enjoying the animals and the beautiful scenery (picture rolling hills that go on as far as the eye can see without buildings or electricity lines obstructing the view), we headed back to Durban so I could show Corey MY South Africa. During our four days in Durban we visited the beach a couple of times, visited my family in the township where I lived in 2005, went shopping at a market, had a couple of nights out on the town, and visited my university. It was really wonderful to get to show Corey around South Africa and to see her reactions to things and get her perspective. For example, when we were in the shopping centre near my apartment, which is very modern and American-feeling, a woman walked by carrying a huge package on her head, as many black South African women do. Like Skippy-on-foot, this has become very commonplace to me and I am no longer as stunned by the amazing strength and balance these women possess. But seen through Corey’s eyes, I got to again realize how great the clash of cultures is here. It’s this amazing mix of the “developing world” and the “developed world” (I put them in quotes because I don’t agree with the idea of ranking countries in this way, but I won’t get into that now) and of European culture with African culture. I am always amazed that it only takes about an hour drive out of the bustling city of Durban to be in a rural village with no electricity or running water where English is often not spoken. South Africa really has an incredible juxtaposition of very different realities that somehow seem to be working together.
But I’m off track. The point is, it was really great to share all of this with my sister and to know that when I get back home there will be one person who at least somewhat understands my life in South Africa and what I have been so fortunate to experience here. When we were at the Cape of Good Hope we climbed to the top of this rock outcropping overlooking the ocean and Corey turned to me and said “I can’t believe I’m in Africa!” And I just smiled and nodded, happy that someone else understands the constant state of awe and wonder that I am in. Of course I am also constantly challenged and overwhelmed too, but mostly it is just pure, wonderful awe and I know I will not make sense of most of it for a long time. But for now, I’m glad that I could share it all with my sister and give her a glimpse of this incredible adventure.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Namibia
Wa lala po?! (This is the extent of the Oshiwambo (sp?) that I learned in Namibia, and means "how are you?!")
During the three week break between the end of the second quarter and the winter session, I again threw my passport and some clothes in a bag and headed out for unknown territories, and again it was a wonderful, once in a lifetime, amazing experience. This time my destination was Namibia, a country just above South Africa on the west coast. My friend Briana is volunteering there with the Peace Corps for two years.
While I may have thought that the bus ride to Zimbabwe was the longest trip ever, this trip made that one seem like a pleasure cruise. It included an 8 hour bus ride from Durban to Johannesburg, a 22 hour (which actually ended up being more like 26 hours) ride from Jo’burg to Windhoek, the capital of Namibia. From there I hopped in a mini bus taxi for an eight hour ride up to Ongwediva, a town in northern Namibia where I met up with Briana.
I’ve discovered that I have a 36 hour travel tolerance. Up until the 36th hour, I find the journey novel and exciting and bask in the assertion of my independence and sense of adventure. When people along the way ask “aren’t you scared to be traveling in Namibia alone?!” I answer with an emphatic “No!” because in all honesty the thought that I should be scared never even crossed my mind (things tend to work out for me… perhaps I have an invincibility complex that I need to think about). After the 36 hour mark hits, however, something changes and suddenly my legs feel cramped and my butt is tired of sitting. I have to pee and I’m hungry (keep in mind all I’d eaten had been what could be purchased at gas stations along the way) and the sun is setting, which means I’ll reach an unknown town somewhere in Northern Namibia in the dark. The mini bus taxi is starting to smell and is quite stuffy as people begin closing their windows to keep out the cool evening air. So at hour 36, all of a sudden this traveling adventure stops being fun and I want to be done. Fortunately, I arrived safely at Ongwediva shortly after dark and met up with Briana with no complications.
To say that it was great seeing Briana would be a huge understatement. After not seeing any friends or family from home over the last five and a half months it was great to catch up with her and to share our respective experiences. It was also very nice to hang out with the other Peace Corps volunteers because up until this point I haven’t really socialized with any Americans at all, which both has its benefits and its drawbacks. While it’s great making friends with people from diverse cultures and backgrounds, sometimes you want to be with someone who understands better where you’re coming from and how you experience new things, if that makes sense. Let’s just say it was great to hear some American accents in person rather than over the phone for a change.
After spending the weekend in Ongwediva, which included watching Briana’s stellar dance performance in the World Music Day festivities in a nearby town, Oshakati, and visiting various other volunteers in the area, Briana and I hopped into the back of a pick-up truck and headed into the bush to her homestead. She lives with a retired teacher, her niece, and her niece’s two year old daughter. In the spirit of African hospitality, they warmly welcomed me into their homestead and were wonderful hostesses for the week. Briana has two huts for herself on the homestead (one serves as a kitchen, the other as a bedroom), and although the homestead has no electricity, the Namibian Ministry of Education hooked her up with some gas powered electricity so she can have a refrigerator and stove.
To be honest, spending time in a village in the Namibian bush where there is no electricity or running water made me feel sort of like I am skimping out on the whole “African” experience by being in Durban, a very western city with all of the luxuries that I enjoy back home. And while at times it made me wish that I was volunteering in a more rural area rather than studying and living in a westernized city, I also realize the incredible value of the learning experience that I am receiving in Durban, both in the classroom and outside. And to be completely honest, I don’t know if I could handle two years of bucket bathing and cooking by candlelight, so props to you Briana!
During the week I went to the school where Briana teaches English to 8th and 9th graders, which was a great experience. I was able to attend some of the classes taught both by Briana and by another teacher who taught geography and life skills. In both classes I was impressed by the questions that students directed toward me and by their interest in American lifestyle. While some of the questions (concerning my marital status and age) just made me laugh (especially when I said that I was 23 and everyone nudged a male student who looked far too old to be in the 10th grade, apparently indicating that he had a chance with me), other questions such as “why is America considered developed while Namibia is underdeveloped?” and “Do you have AIDS in America and why isn’t it as bad as here?” really made me stop and think.
I spent most of the week hanging out in the library that Briana is in charge of running. I think the funniest part of the whole experience was the fascination of the students, particularly the younger ones, at the fact that there were now not only one, but TWO Americans at the school. During breaks, the younger students would all gather at the door of the library or peer in the window, just to observe us interacting and talking to each other. And if we addressed them, saying “hi, how are you?” they would all run away, screaming and laughing as though we had said the funniest thing they had ever heard.
And so I spent a week in the bush, waking early (usually very early because I had to pee so bad but we weren’t allowed to use the latrine at night because it was outside of the borders of the homestead and there was a risk of getting bitten by a snake), spending the day at school, then returning to the homestead to read and relax until the sun went down at about 5:30, at which point Briana and I would make dinner, then go to bed pretty early so that we would be well rested to do it all over again the next day. While this may not be the ideal vacation for many people, it certainly was for me. In fact I would rank it among the best trips I’ve ever taken. I loved escaping from the hustle and bustle of every day life, not having access to internet or use of my cell phone. The silence of the star filled nights was incredibly peaceful and beautiful. It was great to step back half way through my time in South Africa, and have a chance to reflect on the experience so far, especially since I had the added benefits of Briana’s experiences and insights. By the end of the week, I was very sad to say goodbye to Briana, her host family, fellow teachers, and students, and I don’t think I could ever express how much of an impact they had on me.
My second weekend in Namibia, Briana and I went to the homestead that Holly, another Peace Corps volunteer, lives at to celebrate her birthday. It was great to get to visit another family and to share in the celebrations, which of course included a traditional Namibian dinner (although I am no longer a vegetarian, I still have trouble eating goat, particularly freshly slaughtered goat that still has some random hairs on it), some beer, and some dancing. All round, a great night and a great way to end my visit to Namibia.
On Monday, I hopped back into a mini bus taxi to return to Windhoek. This time, however, I flew back to Durban rather than experiencing the glory of another 26+ hour bus ride. The only sketchy part of the journey back was when I arrived in Windhoek after dark and had to figure out how to get to a youth hostel, which was made more complicated by the fact that the first two youth hostels I visited were fully booked. So picture me standing on the side of the street with a big bag of luggage next to me, in a city that is completely foreign to me trying to wave down a taxi. Fortunately, a kind taxi driver took me under his wing and made sure that I arrived safely at a youth hostel with vacancies.
I was actually very impressed by the kindness of strangers who I met along the way. For example, the man I sat next to on the bus ride from Jo’burg to Windhoek made sure that I safely got on a taxi from Windhoek to Ongwediva and than made me promise to call once I got there so he knew that I was safe. And then there was the kindness and hospitality both of Briana’s family, and of other volunteers who welcomed me into their homes on the weekends. I think that when I look back at my time here in retrospect, what will stick out most in my memory will be the many people who have entered my life while I’ve been here, whether it be those who enter only briefly or those who I am certain will always be a part of my life. If for nothing else, I believe that this experience has been so important and transformative because of the people I have met along the way. As a friend recently wrote to me in a letter, perhaps the most important thing that we can do (in any situation, not just in my situation) is to spread love and joy everywhere that we go, with everyone we encounter. It may sound cheesy, but it’s true. It’s the connections that you make along the way that make the journey so incredible.
During the three week break between the end of the second quarter and the winter session, I again threw my passport and some clothes in a bag and headed out for unknown territories, and again it was a wonderful, once in a lifetime, amazing experience. This time my destination was Namibia, a country just above South Africa on the west coast. My friend Briana is volunteering there with the Peace Corps for two years.
While I may have thought that the bus ride to Zimbabwe was the longest trip ever, this trip made that one seem like a pleasure cruise. It included an 8 hour bus ride from Durban to Johannesburg, a 22 hour (which actually ended up being more like 26 hours) ride from Jo’burg to Windhoek, the capital of Namibia. From there I hopped in a mini bus taxi for an eight hour ride up to Ongwediva, a town in northern Namibia where I met up with Briana.
I’ve discovered that I have a 36 hour travel tolerance. Up until the 36th hour, I find the journey novel and exciting and bask in the assertion of my independence and sense of adventure. When people along the way ask “aren’t you scared to be traveling in Namibia alone?!” I answer with an emphatic “No!” because in all honesty the thought that I should be scared never even crossed my mind (things tend to work out for me… perhaps I have an invincibility complex that I need to think about). After the 36 hour mark hits, however, something changes and suddenly my legs feel cramped and my butt is tired of sitting. I have to pee and I’m hungry (keep in mind all I’d eaten had been what could be purchased at gas stations along the way) and the sun is setting, which means I’ll reach an unknown town somewhere in Northern Namibia in the dark. The mini bus taxi is starting to smell and is quite stuffy as people begin closing their windows to keep out the cool evening air. So at hour 36, all of a sudden this traveling adventure stops being fun and I want to be done. Fortunately, I arrived safely at Ongwediva shortly after dark and met up with Briana with no complications.
To say that it was great seeing Briana would be a huge understatement. After not seeing any friends or family from home over the last five and a half months it was great to catch up with her and to share our respective experiences. It was also very nice to hang out with the other Peace Corps volunteers because up until this point I haven’t really socialized with any Americans at all, which both has its benefits and its drawbacks. While it’s great making friends with people from diverse cultures and backgrounds, sometimes you want to be with someone who understands better where you’re coming from and how you experience new things, if that makes sense. Let’s just say it was great to hear some American accents in person rather than over the phone for a change.
After spending the weekend in Ongwediva, which included watching Briana’s stellar dance performance in the World Music Day festivities in a nearby town, Oshakati, and visiting various other volunteers in the area, Briana and I hopped into the back of a pick-up truck and headed into the bush to her homestead. She lives with a retired teacher, her niece, and her niece’s two year old daughter. In the spirit of African hospitality, they warmly welcomed me into their homestead and were wonderful hostesses for the week. Briana has two huts for herself on the homestead (one serves as a kitchen, the other as a bedroom), and although the homestead has no electricity, the Namibian Ministry of Education hooked her up with some gas powered electricity so she can have a refrigerator and stove.
To be honest, spending time in a village in the Namibian bush where there is no electricity or running water made me feel sort of like I am skimping out on the whole “African” experience by being in Durban, a very western city with all of the luxuries that I enjoy back home. And while at times it made me wish that I was volunteering in a more rural area rather than studying and living in a westernized city, I also realize the incredible value of the learning experience that I am receiving in Durban, both in the classroom and outside. And to be completely honest, I don’t know if I could handle two years of bucket bathing and cooking by candlelight, so props to you Briana!
During the week I went to the school where Briana teaches English to 8th and 9th graders, which was a great experience. I was able to attend some of the classes taught both by Briana and by another teacher who taught geography and life skills. In both classes I was impressed by the questions that students directed toward me and by their interest in American lifestyle. While some of the questions (concerning my marital status and age) just made me laugh (especially when I said that I was 23 and everyone nudged a male student who looked far too old to be in the 10th grade, apparently indicating that he had a chance with me), other questions such as “why is America considered developed while Namibia is underdeveloped?” and “Do you have AIDS in America and why isn’t it as bad as here?” really made me stop and think.
I spent most of the week hanging out in the library that Briana is in charge of running. I think the funniest part of the whole experience was the fascination of the students, particularly the younger ones, at the fact that there were now not only one, but TWO Americans at the school. During breaks, the younger students would all gather at the door of the library or peer in the window, just to observe us interacting and talking to each other. And if we addressed them, saying “hi, how are you?” they would all run away, screaming and laughing as though we had said the funniest thing they had ever heard.
And so I spent a week in the bush, waking early (usually very early because I had to pee so bad but we weren’t allowed to use the latrine at night because it was outside of the borders of the homestead and there was a risk of getting bitten by a snake), spending the day at school, then returning to the homestead to read and relax until the sun went down at about 5:30, at which point Briana and I would make dinner, then go to bed pretty early so that we would be well rested to do it all over again the next day. While this may not be the ideal vacation for many people, it certainly was for me. In fact I would rank it among the best trips I’ve ever taken. I loved escaping from the hustle and bustle of every day life, not having access to internet or use of my cell phone. The silence of the star filled nights was incredibly peaceful and beautiful. It was great to step back half way through my time in South Africa, and have a chance to reflect on the experience so far, especially since I had the added benefits of Briana’s experiences and insights. By the end of the week, I was very sad to say goodbye to Briana, her host family, fellow teachers, and students, and I don’t think I could ever express how much of an impact they had on me.
My second weekend in Namibia, Briana and I went to the homestead that Holly, another Peace Corps volunteer, lives at to celebrate her birthday. It was great to get to visit another family and to share in the celebrations, which of course included a traditional Namibian dinner (although I am no longer a vegetarian, I still have trouble eating goat, particularly freshly slaughtered goat that still has some random hairs on it), some beer, and some dancing. All round, a great night and a great way to end my visit to Namibia.
On Monday, I hopped back into a mini bus taxi to return to Windhoek. This time, however, I flew back to Durban rather than experiencing the glory of another 26+ hour bus ride. The only sketchy part of the journey back was when I arrived in Windhoek after dark and had to figure out how to get to a youth hostel, which was made more complicated by the fact that the first two youth hostels I visited were fully booked. So picture me standing on the side of the street with a big bag of luggage next to me, in a city that is completely foreign to me trying to wave down a taxi. Fortunately, a kind taxi driver took me under his wing and made sure that I arrived safely at a youth hostel with vacancies.
I was actually very impressed by the kindness of strangers who I met along the way. For example, the man I sat next to on the bus ride from Jo’burg to Windhoek made sure that I safely got on a taxi from Windhoek to Ongwediva and than made me promise to call once I got there so he knew that I was safe. And then there was the kindness and hospitality both of Briana’s family, and of other volunteers who welcomed me into their homes on the weekends. I think that when I look back at my time here in retrospect, what will stick out most in my memory will be the many people who have entered my life while I’ve been here, whether it be those who enter only briefly or those who I am certain will always be a part of my life. If for nothing else, I believe that this experience has been so important and transformative because of the people I have met along the way. As a friend recently wrote to me in a letter, perhaps the most important thing that we can do (in any situation, not just in my situation) is to spread love and joy everywhere that we go, with everyone we encounter. It may sound cheesy, but it’s true. It’s the connections that you make along the way that make the journey so incredible.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Lesotho
I think my blog posts have been too serious and heavy lately, so it’s time for something a little lighter. And what could be lighter and more enjoyable than travel adventures in southern Africa?! So here goes…
This past weekend my roommate Kinsley and I took a trip to Lesotho, a small country (about the size of Belgium) that is completely within the borders of South Africa (look at a map). It’s a few hours away from Durban and is known as the “mountain kingdom” or the “kingdom in the sky” because the whole country is in the Drakensburg Mountains. It also has the highest mountain south of Kilimanjaro, has the highest low point of any country in Africa, and has the highest pub in Africa, which we of course visited.
So last Friday morning Kinsley and I headed out from Durban at 6 am for another great adventure. We arrived in the Southern Drakensburg Mountains, still within South Africa, and from there met up with a tour guide who was taking us on a guided tour of Lesotho. Now before you accuse me of living too luxuriously with a personal tour guide and all, let me explain our reasoning. The road into Lesotho is a VERY bumpy dirt road and you are not allowed to drive on it unless you have a four-by-four vehicle, which clearly we do not have. So we decided the best way to get there was through an “adventure” agency that organizes trips into Lesotho. We were joined on our trip by a French girl named Matilda and by our tour guide, Philip, a middle-aged South African who loved pulling over on the side of the road to point out birds and plants, forcing us to look at them through the binoculars.
Now I know that I always say how beautiful the places I visit are and I tend to use words like “breathe-taking” and “stunning,” but for real, this was one of the most awe-inspiringly beautiful places I’ve ever visited. Although it is winter here now so the mountains were not as green and lush as they are in the summer season, they were still amazing. They reminded me of the Rocky Mountains where the sheer magnitude of them leaves you speechless. Again, words fail me to describe the beauty. It was one of those places where you stand on top of a hill and look around and see nothing but beautiful rolling hills.
We stayed overnight at the home of a Lesotho man named Thabiso in a small village. It felt as though the 21st Century, even the 19th and 20th Centuries, had completely bypassed the country, as though it were isolated from the crazy modern world altogether. We had no water and no electricity and the main form of transportation was either your feet or a horse. Not to romanticize poverty in any way, but I loved the simplicity of it all. It really makes me think that perhaps it’s the “under-developed world” that has it all figured out, and not the “developed world.” It makes me wonder what the world would be like if we all lived like Thabiso and his family in their little home on the side of a mountain.
When we arrived at Thabiso’s on Friday, he first introduced us to his family then took us into the village to show us around. We saw a traditional dance performed by some of the local women, watched the sunset behind the mountains, and then returned to Thabiso’s where we gathered around a campfire to fight off the cold night (I’m not just being whiny… it was really cold, as in wearing 8-layers of clothing cold). We were then fed a wonderful traditional Lesotho dinner and had a few beers, before heading to bed (with a hot water bottle which I hugged all night, while still dressed in my 8-layers because it really was a very cold night).
On Saturday we visited a traditional healer who performed a traditional dance for us and then told us about our futures. Now I don’t want to give it all away because I’m afraid it’s like a wish where it doesn’t come true if you tell other people, but let’s just say my future is looking good and I am “surrounded by good luck.” Following our visit with the traditional healer, we went on a two-hour horse ride through the mountains and valleys surrounding the village. I think the horseback ride was my favorite part of the weekend. It was a beautiful sunny, though still chilly, day and it was so incredibly peaceful riding around the mountains on horseback. As Philip our tour guide said, “if the rest of the world goes to hell, I’ll move to Lesotho.” I love how it seems to be a parallel universe, where people live in the houses that their ancestors built hundreds of years ago and all of the villagers know each other. Of course I do not want to make light of the poverty the people of Lesotho experience (according to the UN, about 50% of people in Lesotho live below the poverty line and Lesotho has one of the worst HIV/AIDS prevalence rates in the world) but the hospitality and happiness of the people we met was truly inspiring.
So after only two days in Lesotho, we all hopped back into the car and headed back along the bumpy road into South Africa. I was very sad to leave Thabiso and his family waving goodbye, knowing that I would probably never see this wonderful man or these stunning mountains again. But I guess that’s the nature of traveling; you get a taste of the world and try to cherish it while you can, knowing it can never be permanent. On the ride back into South Africa as I looked out the window I thought about what the traditional healer had said about me being surrounded by good luck, and I realized how right she is. I am SO fortunate to have these experiences and to get this year to travel and explore and adventure into new places, meeting new people, and learning new things along the way. And now I know where I can go if the rest of the rest of the world goes to hell.
This past weekend my roommate Kinsley and I took a trip to Lesotho, a small country (about the size of Belgium) that is completely within the borders of South Africa (look at a map). It’s a few hours away from Durban and is known as the “mountain kingdom” or the “kingdom in the sky” because the whole country is in the Drakensburg Mountains. It also has the highest mountain south of Kilimanjaro, has the highest low point of any country in Africa, and has the highest pub in Africa, which we of course visited.
So last Friday morning Kinsley and I headed out from Durban at 6 am for another great adventure. We arrived in the Southern Drakensburg Mountains, still within South Africa, and from there met up with a tour guide who was taking us on a guided tour of Lesotho. Now before you accuse me of living too luxuriously with a personal tour guide and all, let me explain our reasoning. The road into Lesotho is a VERY bumpy dirt road and you are not allowed to drive on it unless you have a four-by-four vehicle, which clearly we do not have. So we decided the best way to get there was through an “adventure” agency that organizes trips into Lesotho. We were joined on our trip by a French girl named Matilda and by our tour guide, Philip, a middle-aged South African who loved pulling over on the side of the road to point out birds and plants, forcing us to look at them through the binoculars.
Now I know that I always say how beautiful the places I visit are and I tend to use words like “breathe-taking” and “stunning,” but for real, this was one of the most awe-inspiringly beautiful places I’ve ever visited. Although it is winter here now so the mountains were not as green and lush as they are in the summer season, they were still amazing. They reminded me of the Rocky Mountains where the sheer magnitude of them leaves you speechless. Again, words fail me to describe the beauty. It was one of those places where you stand on top of a hill and look around and see nothing but beautiful rolling hills.
We stayed overnight at the home of a Lesotho man named Thabiso in a small village. It felt as though the 21st Century, even the 19th and 20th Centuries, had completely bypassed the country, as though it were isolated from the crazy modern world altogether. We had no water and no electricity and the main form of transportation was either your feet or a horse. Not to romanticize poverty in any way, but I loved the simplicity of it all. It really makes me think that perhaps it’s the “under-developed world” that has it all figured out, and not the “developed world.” It makes me wonder what the world would be like if we all lived like Thabiso and his family in their little home on the side of a mountain.
When we arrived at Thabiso’s on Friday, he first introduced us to his family then took us into the village to show us around. We saw a traditional dance performed by some of the local women, watched the sunset behind the mountains, and then returned to Thabiso’s where we gathered around a campfire to fight off the cold night (I’m not just being whiny… it was really cold, as in wearing 8-layers of clothing cold). We were then fed a wonderful traditional Lesotho dinner and had a few beers, before heading to bed (with a hot water bottle which I hugged all night, while still dressed in my 8-layers because it really was a very cold night).
On Saturday we visited a traditional healer who performed a traditional dance for us and then told us about our futures. Now I don’t want to give it all away because I’m afraid it’s like a wish where it doesn’t come true if you tell other people, but let’s just say my future is looking good and I am “surrounded by good luck.” Following our visit with the traditional healer, we went on a two-hour horse ride through the mountains and valleys surrounding the village. I think the horseback ride was my favorite part of the weekend. It was a beautiful sunny, though still chilly, day and it was so incredibly peaceful riding around the mountains on horseback. As Philip our tour guide said, “if the rest of the world goes to hell, I’ll move to Lesotho.” I love how it seems to be a parallel universe, where people live in the houses that their ancestors built hundreds of years ago and all of the villagers know each other. Of course I do not want to make light of the poverty the people of Lesotho experience (according to the UN, about 50% of people in Lesotho live below the poverty line and Lesotho has one of the worst HIV/AIDS prevalence rates in the world) but the hospitality and happiness of the people we met was truly inspiring.
So after only two days in Lesotho, we all hopped back into the car and headed back along the bumpy road into South Africa. I was very sad to leave Thabiso and his family waving goodbye, knowing that I would probably never see this wonderful man or these stunning mountains again. But I guess that’s the nature of traveling; you get a taste of the world and try to cherish it while you can, knowing it can never be permanent. On the ride back into South Africa as I looked out the window I thought about what the traditional healer had said about me being surrounded by good luck, and I realized how right she is. I am SO fortunate to have these experiences and to get this year to travel and explore and adventure into new places, meeting new people, and learning new things along the way. And now I know where I can go if the rest of the rest of the world goes to hell.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Fighting for fairness
I just realized that it’s been a month since my last blog update (it's also been exactly 4 months since I left home), so I figure it’s time for another installment. My other reason for writing a blog update is that, as per usual, I have a paper to write and am procrastinating. This paper, though, is kind of a big deal so I really should get cracking on it. It’s my research proposal for my master’s dissertation and I have to turn it into the school to get approval to get my research started. I’ve decided to look at the impact of the nursing crisis in South Africa on HIV/AIDS care at the community level. Basically I’ll be researching whether or not the shortage of nurses here is having an impact on the burden felt by the community, particularly women, in caring for people living with HIV/AIDS. So get excited, because I’m sure I’ll have lots of fun stats to share with you in future blog posts.
Since my last update I haven’t had any particularly exciting adventures to report on. My focus has mainly been my schoolwork. Right now I’m taking two classes: Research Methods II and Development management. Research Methods is all statistics and math, which let’s be honest, isn’t really my strong suit. Development Management, on the other hand, has been pretty interesting. It has raised a lot of questions for me concerning the nature of development and my role in it. Ever since I started classes in February, actually, I’ve been struggling with the idea of development and whether or not I agree with it. Considering that my degree will be in development studies, you would think that I’d have a pretty good idea what it was about and would be a big fan of it. If you asked me for a definition of development, I would probably say it’s economic growth with the aim of increasing equality and justice in a country. But, in an amendment, it isn’t just about economic growth, but also looks at social and political issues in a country. My problem with development is that I wonder what my role in the grand scheme of things is. As a westerner and an outsider, I wonder how I could come into an African country that I know relatively little about and tell them that I know the best way for them to develop. I certainly do not have some special knowledge that a local person doesn’t have, even if I do have a fancy diploma that says I read a lot of books.
Another student in my program asked me the other day “what are the pertinent development issues in your own country?” And it took me aback for a moment because I’ve been so focused on thinking of South Africa as a “developing country” and the US as a “developed country” that I hadn’t thought about the fact that the US itself is still developing. I suppose like in any line of work and any interaction with other people, it’s all about the attitude that you come at it with. If you go at development work with an attitude of “I’m here to save you from your misery” then you’re putting yourself above others when truly you have no right to. If, however, you come in with an attitude of “let’s work together and share our resources and knowledge” maybe you can get somewhere. If anyone has any insights on any of this, they’re much welcomed.
On my way to the university in the morning, I walk through a very nice neighborhood, as I think I’ve mentioned before. There are lots of big houses overlooking the harbor, all with big fortresses of protection around them. This morning was garbage collection day, so all of the houses had trash bags out on the street. As I was walking, I passed a house where a young man, probably a few years younger than me, was opening each trash bag and sifting through it, probably looking for something to eat. Now, I’ve seen people sifting through trash cans before for sure, but this time struck me for some reason. Maybe it was the juxtaposition of the opulence with the destitution. I think part of me is still that little girl who would whine “that’s not fair!” when someone got a bigger piece of cake than she did. To which my parents would undoubtedly answer, “well, life’s not always fair.” No, life isn’t always fair. But I certainly couldn’t say that to the guy who was sifting through garbage at 7:00 in the morning, while I went along my merry well with a stomach full of breakfast, off to another day of learning at a university he could never afford to attend. So even though life isn’t always fair, I think we need some people who will stand up and say “wait a second, that isn’t fair!” And then fight to make sure that everyone gets a slightly more equal piece of cake. Maybe that’s what I need to find: a job that will pay me to be the whiny little girl.
Enough of this rambling. What else is new? I started taking weekly Zulu classes. I figure it’d pretty silly of me to spend a year in a country and not make a real effort to learn the major language of the area. That and I want to know when people are talking about the only “umlungu” (white person) on the khombi (a mini-bus taxi). Today we learned some useful verbs so that I can say something such as “ngiyabhala ublog,” meaning I’m writing a blog. If that is not in fact how it’s said, none of you will know any different so I feel pretty secure in posting that on here. We also learned Zulu idioms today, one of my favorites being “banjengulimi namathe,” translated literally to mean “they’re like tongue and spit.” Or as we would say in the US “two peas in a pod.” Another good one was “A’kho qili elazikhotha emhlana,” meaning “no matter how clever you are, you cannot lick your own back.” Aka: don’t get too big for your boots/ have some humility. A good lesson for us all. As a sidenote, I’d be interested to know how many of you just attempted to lick your own backs.
Well, my research proposal is calling my name, so that’ll have to be all for now. Salani kahle! (Stay well!)
Since my last update I haven’t had any particularly exciting adventures to report on. My focus has mainly been my schoolwork. Right now I’m taking two classes: Research Methods II and Development management. Research Methods is all statistics and math, which let’s be honest, isn’t really my strong suit. Development Management, on the other hand, has been pretty interesting. It has raised a lot of questions for me concerning the nature of development and my role in it. Ever since I started classes in February, actually, I’ve been struggling with the idea of development and whether or not I agree with it. Considering that my degree will be in development studies, you would think that I’d have a pretty good idea what it was about and would be a big fan of it. If you asked me for a definition of development, I would probably say it’s economic growth with the aim of increasing equality and justice in a country. But, in an amendment, it isn’t just about economic growth, but also looks at social and political issues in a country. My problem with development is that I wonder what my role in the grand scheme of things is. As a westerner and an outsider, I wonder how I could come into an African country that I know relatively little about and tell them that I know the best way for them to develop. I certainly do not have some special knowledge that a local person doesn’t have, even if I do have a fancy diploma that says I read a lot of books.
Another student in my program asked me the other day “what are the pertinent development issues in your own country?” And it took me aback for a moment because I’ve been so focused on thinking of South Africa as a “developing country” and the US as a “developed country” that I hadn’t thought about the fact that the US itself is still developing. I suppose like in any line of work and any interaction with other people, it’s all about the attitude that you come at it with. If you go at development work with an attitude of “I’m here to save you from your misery” then you’re putting yourself above others when truly you have no right to. If, however, you come in with an attitude of “let’s work together and share our resources and knowledge” maybe you can get somewhere. If anyone has any insights on any of this, they’re much welcomed.
On my way to the university in the morning, I walk through a very nice neighborhood, as I think I’ve mentioned before. There are lots of big houses overlooking the harbor, all with big fortresses of protection around them. This morning was garbage collection day, so all of the houses had trash bags out on the street. As I was walking, I passed a house where a young man, probably a few years younger than me, was opening each trash bag and sifting through it, probably looking for something to eat. Now, I’ve seen people sifting through trash cans before for sure, but this time struck me for some reason. Maybe it was the juxtaposition of the opulence with the destitution. I think part of me is still that little girl who would whine “that’s not fair!” when someone got a bigger piece of cake than she did. To which my parents would undoubtedly answer, “well, life’s not always fair.” No, life isn’t always fair. But I certainly couldn’t say that to the guy who was sifting through garbage at 7:00 in the morning, while I went along my merry well with a stomach full of breakfast, off to another day of learning at a university he could never afford to attend. So even though life isn’t always fair, I think we need some people who will stand up and say “wait a second, that isn’t fair!” And then fight to make sure that everyone gets a slightly more equal piece of cake. Maybe that’s what I need to find: a job that will pay me to be the whiny little girl.
Enough of this rambling. What else is new? I started taking weekly Zulu classes. I figure it’d pretty silly of me to spend a year in a country and not make a real effort to learn the major language of the area. That and I want to know when people are talking about the only “umlungu” (white person) on the khombi (a mini-bus taxi). Today we learned some useful verbs so that I can say something such as “ngiyabhala ublog,” meaning I’m writing a blog. If that is not in fact how it’s said, none of you will know any different so I feel pretty secure in posting that on here. We also learned Zulu idioms today, one of my favorites being “banjengulimi namathe,” translated literally to mean “they’re like tongue and spit.” Or as we would say in the US “two peas in a pod.” Another good one was “A’kho qili elazikhotha emhlana,” meaning “no matter how clever you are, you cannot lick your own back.” Aka: don’t get too big for your boots/ have some humility. A good lesson for us all. As a sidenote, I’d be interested to know how many of you just attempted to lick your own backs.
Well, my research proposal is calling my name, so that’ll have to be all for now. Salani kahle! (Stay well!)
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