Fighting for fairness

I just realized that it’s been a month since my last blog update (it's also been exactly 4 months since I left home), so I figure it’s time for another installment. My other reason for writing a blog update is that, as per usual, I have a paper to write and am procrastinating. This paper, though, is kind of a big deal so I really should get cracking on it. It’s my research proposal for my master’s dissertation and I have to turn it into the school to get approval to get my research started. I’ve decided to look at the impact of the nursing crisis in South Africa on HIV/AIDS care at the community level. Basically I’ll be researching whether or not the shortage of nurses here is having an impact on the burden felt by the community, particularly women, in caring for people living with HIV/AIDS. So get excited, because I’m sure I’ll have lots of fun stats to share with you in future blog posts.

Since my last update I haven’t had any particularly exciting adventures to report on. My focus has mainly been my schoolwork. Right now I’m taking two classes: Research Methods II and Development management. Research Methods is all statistics and math, which let’s be honest, isn’t really my strong suit. Development Management, on the other hand, has been pretty interesting. It has raised a lot of questions for me concerning the nature of development and my role in it. Ever since I started classes in February, actually, I’ve been struggling with the idea of development and whether or not I agree with it. Considering that my degree will be in development studies, you would think that I’d have a pretty good idea what it was about and would be a big fan of it. If you asked me for a definition of development, I would probably say it’s economic growth with the aim of increasing equality and justice in a country. But, in an amendment, it isn’t just about economic growth, but also looks at social and political issues in a country. My problem with development is that I wonder what my role in the grand scheme of things is. As a westerner and an outsider, I wonder how I could come into an African country that I know relatively little about and tell them that I know the best way for them to develop. I certainly do not have some special knowledge that a local person doesn’t have, even if I do have a fancy diploma that says I read a lot of books.

Another student in my program asked me the other day “what are the pertinent development issues in your own country?” And it took me aback for a moment because I’ve been so focused on thinking of South Africa as a “developing country” and the US as a “developed country” that I hadn’t thought about the fact that the US itself is still developing. I suppose like in any line of work and any interaction with other people, it’s all about the attitude that you come at it with. If you go at development work with an attitude of “I’m here to save you from your misery” then you’re putting yourself above others when truly you have no right to. If, however, you come in with an attitude of “let’s work together and share our resources and knowledge” maybe you can get somewhere. If anyone has any insights on any of this, they’re much welcomed.

On my way to the university in the morning, I walk through a very nice neighborhood, as I think I’ve mentioned before. There are lots of big houses overlooking the harbor, all with big fortresses of protection around them. This morning was garbage collection day, so all of the houses had trash bags out on the street. As I was walking, I passed a house where a young man, probably a few years younger than me, was opening each trash bag and sifting through it, probably looking for something to eat. Now, I’ve seen people sifting through trash cans before for sure, but this time struck me for some reason. Maybe it was the juxtaposition of the opulence with the destitution. I think part of me is still that little girl who would whine “that’s not fair!” when someone got a bigger piece of cake than she did. To which my parents would undoubtedly answer, “well, life’s not always fair.” No, life isn’t always fair. But I certainly couldn’t say that to the guy who was sifting through garbage at 7:00 in the morning, while I went along my merry well with a stomach full of breakfast, off to another day of learning at a university he could never afford to attend. So even though life isn’t always fair, I think we need some people who will stand up and say “wait a second, that isn’t fair!” And then fight to make sure that everyone gets a slightly more equal piece of cake. Maybe that’s what I need to find: a job that will pay me to be the whiny little girl.

Enough of this rambling. What else is new? I started taking weekly Zulu classes. I figure it’d pretty silly of me to spend a year in a country and not make a real effort to learn the major language of the area. That and I want to know when people are talking about the only “umlungu” (white person) on the khombi (a mini-bus taxi). Today we learned some useful verbs so that I can say something such as “ngiyabhala ublog,” meaning I’m writing a blog. If that is not in fact how it’s said, none of you will know any different so I feel pretty secure in posting that on here. We also learned Zulu idioms today, one of my favorites being “banjengulimi namathe,” translated literally to mean “they’re like tongue and spit.” Or as we would say in the US “two peas in a pod.” Another good one was “A’kho qili elazikhotha emhlana,” meaning “no matter how clever you are, you cannot lick your own back.” Aka: don’t get too big for your boots/ have some humility. A good lesson for us all. As a sidenote, I’d be interested to know how many of you just attempted to lick your own backs.

Well, my research proposal is calling my name, so that’ll have to be all for now. Salani kahle! (Stay well!)