My corner of the world

Today is a big day. Whether you are republican or democrat, male or female, white, black or somewhere in between, it is a big day. It’s the inauguration of a new president, and what promises to potentially be a new era in the US, and the world. I’m not saying that this guy is Superman or that he can solve all the world’s ills or even that I agree with him on all of his policies; I’m just saying that he’s stirring things up and bringing hope to the world. Hope is a big deal and is nothing to be taken lightly.

Hope can be dangerous too, like the kids in Kenya that I saw on a CNN report saying that now Obama will move everyone to America. I find it highly unlikely that Obama will be opening the US borders to all foreigners. I also find it highly unlikely that he could ever possibly live up to the high expectations that have been set for him, especially those expectations abroad. While I certainly expect foreign relations to improve during his presidency, I also think there is a lot for him to focus on in the home front. Unfortunately global poverty most likely will not be his first priority. I am keeping my fingers crossed, however, that he will somehow move issues of poverty and justice a little bit higher on the American list of priorities and consciousness. I suppose my hopes are pretty high as well.

Two days ago was also a very big day, but on a personal level. It marked my two year anniversary of moving to South Africa. When I look back at the person I was two years ago, I realize that I was a bit naïve, a big optimistic and a bit wide-eyed. I like to think, however, that I am still a bit naïve, optimistic, and wide-eyed. After all, these are characteristics that I hope to keep my whole life. But I have certainly learned a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot, and perhaps changed and grew a bit along the way. While I know my family may not be thrilled with my decisions to continually extend my stay here in South Africa, (first to finish my studies, then to take on a job), I feel strongly that this is where I want to be at this point in my life. Have I made sacrifices by being here? Certainly. There are events that I’ve missed and friends who I haven’t been very good at staying in touch with. These are things that I will always regret. But I think that regardless of what paths we take, we will always have to make sacrifices to follow through with the decisions we make and the dreams we dream. The best you can hope for is a little bit of peace in your heart, as well as a little bit of restlessness that keeps you always excited and always challenged. This is what I’ve found during my grand adventure.

I recently returned to South Africa from a three week visit home for the holidays. This trip was also special because I brought my boyfriend, Langa, home with me to meet my family and friends. It was really wonderful to finally bridge the gap between my two worlds, and as always it was great catching up with friends and family. My trip included Christmas in Rochester, then visits to NYC, Philly, and NJ, including a family reunion at Aunt Maddie’s (there’s your shout-out, Auntie M!) where I was able to see family members, some of whom I hadn’t seen in five or more years. All in all, it was great not only to see some of the people I love most in the world, but also to see that despite the distances and despite the lack of constant and immediate communication, we can fall right back into place as though I had just run out to the grocery store for an hour instead of moved across the world.

It is very interesting to have one foot on one continent and the other foot on another. This is how my life has come to feel. It is like I have two different realities in two different countries. In each there are people who are very important to me and memories which I cherish. And each life has both its struggles and rewards. I guess the great challenge for me in the future will be somehow bridging the gaps between these two lives and finding a compromise that lets me not lose too much of either world. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but what I’m trying to say is that being a foreigner living in another country is quite a unique struggle because you come to love a new place as your home and you grow and change in that country, and then eventually once you return to your home country are forced to fit a square peg in a round hole, if you will. I’m sure some of my friends who have also lived abroad can understand what I’m trying to get at.

But I’ve fallen off track. I’m still here in SA, so don’t have to worry just yet about fitting any pegs into any misfit holes. I think one way that I have changed in the past two years is that I’ve become a bit… cynical? I’m not sure if that’s the word I’m going for but I’m a bit less optimistic and my life goals are a bit less grandiose. Maybe that’s the result of having poverty and injustice and crime and disease in your face every day, and then also seeing the remarkable individuals who everyday strive to make a difference in their own little part of the world. Nothing I can do will stop the AIDS epidemic (unless I magically discovered a vaccine... unlikely). Nothing I can do will end world poverty. Nothing I can do will end injustice. It’s been there since the beginning of time and will remain until the end. All I can do is my small part, and if that means helping a few kids in South Africa get the education they deserve, then I’m completely happy to play my part. It's kind of about fighting the daily battle, even if you'll never see the conclusion to the war. I could find a job where I fight poverty and work hard everyday for the rest of my life, but I know that in my lifetime I would never see the end of poverty.

But perhaps my cynicism is also due to the realization of how much I have in common with the people I've met here and that we are all just ordinary people, doing the best we can every day. In other words, my reality here has become less about sitting in a classroom learning about the economics of a developing country and having my thoughts of the world shifted or challenged, and more about sitting in a soccer stadium cheering on the local team with my friends, or sitting down to dinner with a group of people my age, talking about the movie we just watched.

Perhaps I’ve become a little more humbled by my experience here as well. I remember as a child there was one day where ancient prophecies predicted the world would end on that day. Being a worrier even as a young child, I remember raising my concerns with my mom, who was ironing at the time. She put the iron down and said, “Jaime do you really think I would be spending my last night on earth ironing?” And this put my worries to ease. This memory helps me put my life a bit into perspective. The world keeps changing. Wars begin and end. Laws are passed and repealed. Presidents are elected and retired. The world keeps spinning, and we keep waking up every day to face it all over again, and to get our ironing done. And hopefully, somehow during that day, we are able to do something that makes a difference in someone else’s life.

This is why the revival of hope that Obama’s election has generated is so important. His slogan of “yes we can” goes far beyond “yes we can” get him elected. It means “yes we can” make a difference, “yes we can” imagine a better world, and “yes we can” be part of that change. Change does not begin with political revolutions or wars or even with grassroots protests. It begins, as Gandhi taught us, within each of us. It's about changing our own individual mindsets and doing our own little parts, while still watching soccer games and getting the ironing done everyday. So as millions of people flood the nation’s capital to witness this historic inauguration, I will be sitting on my couch on the other side of the world watching it live on TV. And someday when my children ask me where I was when Obama became president, I will say that I was on the other side of the world, living my own dream, making my own little difference in one corner of the world, and being the change that I wanted to see.